Book Review 3: Irvin Yalom's Becoming Myself
Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist’s Memoir
By Irvin D. Yalom
Basic, New York, 2017
343 pages
INTRODUCTION
Charles Dickens says, “For, as I draw closer and closer to the end, I travel in a circle nearer and nearer to the beginning. It seems to be one of the kind of smoothings and preparings of the way. My heart is touched now by many remembrances that had long fallen asleep…” (A Tale of Two Cities).
Yalom feels the impact of these words. He quotes these words both toward the beginning and at the end of the book. He says, “Those words haunt me. More and more, I sense some forces tugging me back to my beginnings” (340-341).
Psychiatrist Irvin D. Yalom’s autobiography tells the story of a long life approaching its end. I want to share with you a book review of Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist’s Memoir. It reveals one man’s becoming while it weaves his life together with developing group and existential therapies as well as growth into a professional writer along the journey.
PERSONAL THOUGHTS
First, I am not unbiased. I like Irvin Yalom and have followed him for years. I read his book, The Gift of Therapy, in graduate school and have read many of his other books since that time. I tell my students that I am a "fanboy" of Yalom. By that, I mean that I have enthusiastically read and incorporated much from his approach into my teaching and clinical work.
Second, the book, Becoming Myself, is the type of literature that I enjoy reading. I most enjoy reading creative, non-fiction literature such as Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard and similar works. I think that this is one reason why I have always connected with most of Yalom’s books. They are the type of literature that I enjoy reading the most.
SOME MAIN TAKEAWAYS
First, Yalom becomes a group therapist. This interest begins in his medical and psychiatric training and continues throughout his personal life and academic career. He writes the book on it. Yalom forms a here-and-now, interpersonal process approach to group therapy, and for that matter, individual therapy.
His very successful academic book, The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy, was first published in 1970 and came out with the 6th edition in 2020. Yalom recognizes that this will be the last time he will be involved in updating and revising it. As of 2023, he is currently 91 years old.
Yalom’s autobiography could be called by this chapter’s title, “My Life in Groups." He remains involved in groups, some of which have continued for the better part of his career. These groups range from therapy groups to case presentation groups to writing groups to his family. Several of these groups span most of his personal, professional, or academic life.
Second, Yalom becomes an existential psychiatrist. He traces his interest in existential philosophy. He tells about taking philosophy courses during his residency at Johns Hopkins and while a professor at Stanford. In the course of his life, he met many “BIG NAME” psychiatrists and psychologists. Concerning existential psychology, two stand out. Yalom became acquainted with Viktor Frankl, a survivor holocaust survivor and founder of Logotherapy, but got to know Rollo May very well.
Yalom met Viktor Frankl when he was teaching a summer course on Freud in Vienna, where Frankl lived, and later, at Frankl’s insistence, he invited him to Stanford University. His impressions of Frankl are very interesting, generally negative. Yalom does provide a more generous perspective at the end of that chapter. He says, “Years later, when writing Existential Psychotherapy, I review his work thoroughly and realized, more than ever, the importance of his innovative and fundamental contributions to our field” (162).
In addition to Frankl, Yalom encountered Rollo May, “Toward the end of my first year [residency at Johns Hopkins University], a newly published book titled Existence by the psychologist Rollo May came to my attention…This book changed my life” (102-103). He later received personal therapy from May as well as developed a deep friendship with Rollo and his wife Georgia. He was there with Georgia when Rollo died. May had a tremendous impact on Yalom.
Yalom’s Existential Psychotherapy book in 1980. It covered four main themes: Death, Freedom, Isolation, and Meaning. He says, “My intent was to increase all therapists’ awareness of existential issues in their patients’ lives” (199). He continues to explore philosophy and philosophers through his writing. He went on to write therapeutic novels incorporating Spinoza, Schopenhauer, and Nietzsche.
Third, Yalom becomes a writer. He tells great stories. From early in his life, books provided an important escape. For one who wants, passionately desires, to become a writer, they find a way to do it. Yalom found a way to write more than academic textbooks. He writes teaching stories and novels. It began with a client and therapist book. One thing that Yalom practiced from early in his practice was writing summaries of sessions. Eventually, he even shared these with his groups.
A writer came to group therapy, but could not afford to continue once her fellowship ended. So, he proposed “an unusual arrangement” (164). He waives the therapy fee to continue individual psychotherapy, and they both write summaries of thoughts and feelings not verbalized during the session. Every Day Gets a Little Closer was published in 1974. This became Yalom’s first non-academic book and many more were to follow.
Yalom is instructive in several different ways. First, his audience began as resources for students and therapists. So, many of his books teach through stories. I love this method of teaching and use it in my classes. Second, I enjoyed learning the story behind the stories. Books do not magically appear out of nowhere. Behind each book, there is a story of how the book ideas developed and composed. Lastly, his stories of writing books are instructive. I like to learn about different authors' methods of writing books. If someone has a desire to write, read this book! You will one author’s process for writing.
IN THE COMMENTS BELOW, tell me about your interest. Is it in group psychotherapy, existential psychotherapy, or writing? Maybe you have multiple interests. Share those with me in the comments.
Okay, so there are a couple of things that were not to my taste. First, in two different chapters, the older, Dr. Yalom, is giving his younger self, Irvin, therapy. It is written in a dialogue format, which just does not connect with me. While I normally like Yalom’s psychotherapeutic dialogue, I just did not like the way this was done. There was something about it that did not fit the context of the work.
Second, I love the book but just felt sad at the end. This man had such a wonderful life, career, and family, but in the end, he believes it just ends. Of course, there is a sense in which that is true. He works to make sense of life and death. It is a continual theme as the book progresses. The clock ticks away. I found it especially sad when he commented, “Fortunately, thank God, Marilyn is not a religious believer, but she has a secret yearning for the sacred, whereas I am a dedicated skeptic…” (318). This especially bothered me when I read of her death at age 87 in 2019.
Yet, Yalom does respect those with religious beliefs and even mentions favorably in the book a friend and a client who were Christians, even while he does not share those beliefs. Admittedly, I am religious and found it difficult because I do believe that there is more to this life than this life. Not all existential philosophers and psychotherapists are atheists. In some sense, the story continues…
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Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist’s Memoir (2017): https://amzn.to/3X1ClkL
The Gift of Therapy (2002): https://amzn.to/38oys4A
The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy (2020): https://amzn.to/45RbxYN
Existential Psychotherapy (1980): https://amzn.to/3N7Bl8U
Everyday Gets a Little Closer (1974): https://amzn.to/3N28VNW
When Nietzsche Wept: A Novel of Obsession (1991): https://amzn.to/3J4VOeN
The Schopenhauer Cure: A Novel (2005): https://amzn.to/3WWzoCd
The Spinoza Problem: A Novel (2012): https://amzn.to/3NmvfEp